Filed under: bad boy, being alive, comedy, comedy writing, culture, funny, girl humour, humour, lad humour, life, new ideas, opinion, perspective, philosophy, random, society, stupid thoughts, thought for the day, thoughts, writing | Tags: bad boy, being alive, comedy, comedy writing, culture, funny, gay humour, girl humour, lad humour, life, literary journalism, opinion, perspective, philosophy, random, random stuff, society, stupid, stupid stuff, stupid thoughts, thought for the day
A few years ago, a friend of mine showed me how all traffic lights have a tiny revolving cone under the control panel to aid people who have a hearing and sight impairment. Did you know this? It’s certainly a golden moment when we chance upon something that has existed for years just beyond the boundaries of our knowledge. Did you know that all biro pens have an air hole in the tube and in the pen top in case a child swallows it?
Until recently, I didn’t know that you can record your voice on a mobile phone. Well, how about this one then – a zipper that locks. I mean actually locks like a key so that if you’re fat and bend over (ahm… like a friend of mine) your gut doesn’t hang through the fly like a donut in a ripped bag. When trying on a pair of jeans, I demonstrated to the sales assistant how when I bend over the zipper comes undone all on its own. Err …I mean my friend did and I was with him. She was a big fat bird herself and could obviously relate to my situation, so she stretched out a chubby paw, yanked the zip up to the top teeth and pressed the zip down – whereby it locked into place.
DT
Filed under: bad boy, being alive, comedy, comedy writing, culture, funny, girl humour, humour, lad humour, life, love, new ideas, opinion, perspective, philosophy, random, society, stupid thoughts, the asshole, thought for the day, thoughts, toilet humour, writing | Tags: bad boy, being alive, comedy, comedy writing, culture, dick jokes, funny, gay humour, lad humour, lad stuff, life, literary journalism, men behaving badly, opinion, perspective, philosophy, random, random stuff, society, stupid, stupid stuff, stupid thoughts, thought for the day, toilet humour
Toilet paper illustrators should have more fun. For one, they have a niche little corner of the market to play around with yet spend their time working on Christmas trees or cute little animal designs to print on toilet paper. Get an image of a puppy dog, and then cover it in shit. Not so cute after all, eh? I propose printing little tongues or noses, indented and poised to lick and sniff. Why not have a sense of humour about it? Ask anyone what illustrations they have on their toilet roll and you’d likely score a blank – which is a good thing, coz if you’re shopping specifically for toilet paper illustrations then your life is over.
DT
Filed under: bad boy, being alive, comedy, comedy writing, culture, funny, humour, life, new ideas, opinion, perspective, philosophy, random, serious stuff, society, stupid thoughts, thought for the day, thoughts, writing | Tags: being alive, books, comedy, comedy writing, funny, gay humour, innovation, life, literary journalism, opinion, perspective, philosophy, random, random stuff, society, stupid, stupid stuff, stupid thoughts, thought for the day
There’s a book called ‘Highlights in the History of Concrete,’ that has sold enough copies for it to still be in print. Who on earth is buying this book?
I like the idea of writing a serious factual book on a subject so utterly disinteresting to everyone that it actually becomes interesting for this very reason. It’s reverse psychology, like people who wear clothes that are so out of fashion they are actually in fashion. I am currently undertaking research for three books which I hope to enter into a new bookshelf category at Waterstones bookstore called - Disinterested Awareness:
Large Candles – The Facts.
How to Comb Blond Hair with Your Fingers.
The North Atlantic Manual of Paper Cuts 2009.
DT
